The Color Grey

I remember a time when all I knew was green and blue. 

Grassy green and navy blue; so earthy, so very true.

Those were the colors of my school uniform; the only place, if you ask me, to which I feel a sense of belonging, a loyalty that I have for no place else.

I was a part of it, just like its desks and chairs and chalk and blackboards. And it was a part of me, like my arms and legs and smiles and tears.

Things were simple back then, even the most difficult problems were simple. The fights and quarrels were simple, fun was simple, questions were simple.

"Should I do my homework before or after lunch? Pack my school bag before or after basketball practice? Should I tell my friend that this boy likes her? Should I tell the teacher that this boy is bugging me?" Mmmm...seemingly complex but utterly simple!

But I remember the colors as well. In Halloween, school was full of black and orange, not to mention all the colors of our costumes. At Christmas, Mrs Shahdan always dressed up as Santa Claus, passing by our classes, singing and giving out candy. Red, green and white cotton filled the corridor walls.

I remember the flaring colors of pom-poms when the boys played football against other schools, and when we danced in carnivals.

I remember seeing it all vividly, brightly. All the colors and shapes and feelings, so precise and clear. The only color I don't remember seeing is grey, the grey that we all live in now; not knowing if what we're doing is right or not, what we're seeing is true or not, what we're fighting for is worth it or not...

The colors have all been entangled, intertwined, merged and stirred. You can't see clearly anymore. The black and white do not exist, the bright has been dimmed and the dark is shining brightly.

We are swimming in a sea of grey, searching for clarity, wishing against all odds that the color we see now is the color that is true, fearing it probably won't be, but hoping it is.

The color grey is hectic, confusing, rarely true. I wish I could go back to the time, when I all I knew was grassy green and navy blue.