Dear Daddy, I am letting go.

Dear Daddy,

I am writing this to tell you that you are a great father… No, really, I don’t think there is ever a dad as kind and as giving as you are. There is just one problem; I am not your type of girl. (Yes, the famous line “it’s not you, it’s me” works here too).

I can’t deny it, you are a real genius. You know everything about almost everything, and you know it better than anyone else does; which makes most people look up to you and admire you, me included. But your knowledge concerning your daughter - me, I’m sorry to say, has stopped growing since the late 90’s. You don’t know what I’m going through most of the time, or how I’m feeling or what my dreams are or if I have a plan to see them through. All what you know about me is based on assumptions that are mostly, well….wrong!

You’re always telling me to study this and that or work in whatever field you think is good or play a certain sport or a take a certain course. All of these things you’ve been pushing me to do might very well be real good – just not for me, dad. For years and to this very day, you had me striving for all the wrong reasons. I find myself wanting to be better and to do more and to rise higher, not for my own self actualization but for making you proud of me. Sadly, it never happens.

I have reached a point where, whenever I have a decision to make, I try not to come to you for advice, because I know you will only demean it, demean me. Whatever progress I make in something that I truly believe in, I am very reluctant to show it to you or tell you about it. And when I do, guess what? You’re not even interested. And when you are, you criticize the hell out of it, “constructively”. Let me tell you something dad; too much “constructive” criticism ends up being immensely destructive!!

So here it is pups, my final resolution to our very complicated relationship; I am going to listen to you like I’ve never listened before. I am going to accept your criticism with an open heart when - and only when - I feel that it will move me forward, not shatter my confidence to pieces. I will no let you get to me like I always did. I will also stop trying to make you proud. From now on, I’m going to work and live to the best of my abilities; and sometimes I’m not even going to give it my all, because simply, I might not care that much.   

Lastly, I want to thank you for everything that you taught me and everything that I am because of you. I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am or who I am if it wasn’t for you. And thank you for all the things I’ve learnt from you even when you didn’t teach them to me, I think they were the ones most effective.

Anyways, I love you dad, but I’m letting go now, so please let me be.

Love and respect,

Me :)