View from the Kitchen Balcony

Sometimes I sit in our tiny kitchen balcony, reading. And I look up at the sun shining above the roof tops and the clouds beautifully surrounding it. I don't know why at those times my mind keeps wandering and travels around to all the places that I've never been to, or been to a hundred times - inside my head. Like Italy, for example.

I gaze at the sun and the clouds and imagine myself on the balcony of a roof apartment in Italy looking up at the sun and down on the endless cozy buildings hugging each other and churches between them. I hear faint music coming from the radio belonging to the fat woman next door, the melody mixing with the delicious aroma of the risotto I know she's cooking for her family, and me. I smile at the beauty of the whole scene and wonder how much nicer it'll be when dinner is ready and I sit with the family around the table, make conversation with the little Italian I've learnt and taste the hot, rich mushroom risotto she's made.

For a second there my mind touches the ground when I hear a car honking in the parking, but I instantly let it fly again and before my eyes run fast images like the ones I see in movies; walking down the narrow clean streets with the sun shining and the weather beautiful, everyone around me smiling, laughing or singing. Cafe's are all around, preppy looking men and women drinking latte's and chatting, a noisy football match here, a crowded bar there, a monumental church, pasta and pizza and lots of friendly people. And me in the midst of all of it, a cheeky smile and a dreamy gaze never leaving my face; taking it all in, inhaling the charm of a country that I've never been to, believing that one day I'll go there and see everything that I've imagined just the way I imagined it.

I'm sitting there, my eyes far away from the book I'm reading, enjoying my daydream and thinking how much more interesting life really is inside my head when mum suddenly calls out for me to take out the garbage!

SNAP!

I do believe in Valentine's!

I don't get why all of a sudden everyone is so angry at Valentine's day. They're not just making fun of the cheesiness some people are in but they actually HATE the idea. Why? I understand some people overdo it a little bit, but the idea of a day to celebrate love is still nice, it's not to be attacked and booed like this. 

Why have flowers and chocolates suddenly become soooo "cheesy" and "corny" and we ridicule it so much, when we know quite well that we girls love to receive flowers and chocolates always makes us feel good (except if we're fat and we feel guilty eating it). Also, what's wrong with having a romantic dinner with your partner on this day? Aren't we all so busy with our lives and don't have time for each other? Isn't it nice that there's a certain day that you can purposely throw everything else away and be with the person you love? Some people would say "I'd do that any other day but the Valentine's". Aywa LEH BA2A? Is it because everyone else is celebrating at the same time? Does that mean you shall hate Ramadan, Eid, Christmas, New Year's and Mother's Day and not wish your friends and family a great "whichever" because everyone else is doing it and it is so common? Of course not. Tab eshme3na el Valentine el ba2a ko7'a?? 

Such a weird argument; "asl el nas bteb2a mlaza2a awy"! ya3ny eh ya3ny?? Is it not "melaza2a" when you write the best words you know, wishing your boy/girlfriend - or whoever - a happy birthday ON Facebook ON his/her actual birthday, for everyone to see how much you love them? Is it not cheesy then? I personally believe it's not, as long as you're not faking or overdoing it - "arar w sandood style". 

Now, another thing. Some of us might know the story behind Valentine's day and how it was originally celebrated for the saint who married the couples...etc...etc. This was, I don't know, a century ago maybe? But most people do not know that fact, and the day is not called "Couples Day". So why restrict the love to one's partner and keep whining (seriously or as a joke) that you're alone on Valentine's day? The day is generally celebrating LOVE, and love is for everyone! We all know that. 

I remember in Prep school, my friends and I used to make each other small cards and stuff, why can't people still do that? Do some act of love for their friends,or their brothers, or mothers, co-workers, or partners...anyone. They can help them out with, surprise them with something they've been wanting for a while, or something to cheer them up; OR just wish them a happy day. It's not so difficult. It's not cheesy, or corny, or melaza2a!!! It's just love people, not a French kiss in the middle of the road - it's just pure, simple, innocent, happy LOVE. We all need it. We all do desperately need it. Admit that, won't you?


Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Unexpected Pain Killer

I've been feeling a little down the past few days, doubting everything; thinking that maybe I won't be able to do what I want or be worthwhile; and then I'd have wasted my time and my energy over nothing and disappointed the people closest to me. It was very depressing, I was worried and scared sick and I didn't know what to do, coz I know that I have to give my dreams a chance and I couldn't back out that early.

I decided to put my worries aside for a while and busied myself with work for the day (today actually). And then I met a friend, and we had a long relaxed chat about many random things, from trivial issues to important reflections about life, love and careers...etc.

And then he something; a sentence that was not at all meant as a piece of advice, or something to comfort me, just a passing phrase in the middle of a long conversation. But that simple phrase rang heavily in my ears, and went through my head to the part where I had buried my worries yesterday, and somehow managed to calm them down completely, as if I'd taken a strong pain killer for a mild headache. And I stopped and thought of that sentence for a while, and it made a lot of sense to me, gave me more hope and confidence.

Never mind what the sentence was, I was just glad that I'd put my worries aside for a day, didn't think about anything and decided to meet an old friend whom advice I didn't ask for, but who had had a perfect pain killer for my useless worrying!

Don't you love it when that happens? :)

Thank God for your bad luck

You wake up in the morning looking forward to the very first day of not having to study. And you stay in bed a while longer and leave home when it's a little too late to take the bus - the one that takes you to the bus station, so you decide to take a cab and you reach the bus station to fight with the driver over the fare, the one that HE thinks is fair but YOU know is not. And you keep arguing over what is fair and what is unfair, until you decide to throw him the money and leave, just to realize that you've missed the bus!!

Then you take another bus and wait, with your fury rising and the curses coming out rapidly under your breath. You're thinking how people can be so unethical and why everyone wants more than his right. And you're also thinking why oh WHY on earth your day is starting that badly when you haven't done anything to deserve it; and you've just finished your year-long diploma and feeling free as a bird. Why are such stupid events ruining your morning?

Your eyes water as the driver starts the bus, and your tears silently fall as it starts moving. You cry silently for a while, feeling fragile and silly...

Midway through the short trip, your tears dry and you look ahead to see why the traffic is slow that early in the morning.... A few minutes pass and you come to the reason why cars are slowing down. A car accident, a big one. People are gathered over a body. They are anxious. You're not sure what happened, for the road is clearer now and the bus starts speeding away.

Was that person dead? was he injured? slightly hurt? just in shock from the accident? You don't know. And you never will, coz you and the bus and everyone in it have moved on. But you realize something, someone else's day has started much worse than yours, much much worse; and he too believes he didn't do anything to deserve it. But it happened anyways, because things like this happen everyday, to all of us.

You feel ashamed for cursing your trivial "bad luck", and you decide to thank God for how your day has started, and thank Him in advance for how it will go...

And life goes on, as it never ends..

The following is by no means a poem, or a writing piece, just my thoughts on the sad events we are living every day...

People live, people die
People laugh, people cry
People love, people hate
People protest, people agree

People are lost, people find their way
People miss each other, people meet every day

People are freezing, people are tanning
People are fighting, people are sharing
People are working, people are chilling
People are hugging, people are killing

People watch, people do
People talk, people walk
People listen, people scream
People drift with the stream..

And life goes on, as it never ends. Each to his own, each on his own. Boys, girls, men and women, are outside fighting for their rights, while their brothers are inside, drinking coffee and chatting with their friends. Kids are playing, watching movies and shopping, while their neighbors are being crushed by trains.

We are working, totally taken by our daily tasks, forgetting that someone who was sitting on the bench right next to us in college goes to a local ahwa every morning, order his shisha and wait for the jobs he applied for to give him a call back.

The same road that’s taken every day by an E class Mercedes is also taken by a micro bus packed full of people who barely afford the fare, who can hardly breathe through each other in summer and are grateful for the each other’s company in winter. The same amount of money that gets a couple married is the one that buys the center pieces for another couple’s wedding… Isn't that ironic? A little too ironic?

The working guy meets the unemployed meets the Mercedes driver, the micro bus taker, the married couples; meets the protesters and the children and the shoppers and the coffee drinkers and so on and so forth… They all meet each other, every minute of every day, on every street corner, and every traffic light; in restaurants and even at work. They meet and talk and interact; except they don’t really “see” each other. They don’t know; they don’t know what they’re going through or what their troubles are. They don’t know what fate put them in this place while putting others in that one. Sometimes they’re tolerant, sometimes they’re not. Sometimes they pretend to understand; sometimes they’re too angry to communicate. Sometimes..sometimes..sometimes…

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I obviously didn't put much “literary” writing effort in it. I just feel that the world is so unfair, which is something we all know. But lately I've been feeling that it’s sad. Such a sad sad world that we live in! The contradictions are too much to bear, and I’m seriously beginning to think that ignorance is bliss.

I have nothing more to say right now, except that I wish things were more comprehensible, less contradictory and a little more fair.

3alashan msh lazem nekoon ma3 ba3d - khales!

People are weird. I swear. 

I take the Rehab bus almost everyday and I started noticing an odd pattern in people's behavior, including mine. 

When the bus is still empty-ish and people start taking seats, they always pick the empty ones, and they always sit next to the aisle, so that other people will be reluctant to come and ask them to move inside so they can sit.

Then when the bus starts crowding and the late in-comers ask the ones already there to move so they can sit in the other chair, every single person is SOOOO reluctant to move inside or give them the window seat that it seems to me as if they've been asked to share their bed not a seat in public transportation! Some people get so grumpy that they give a loud "hhhmmmmfff" and two women even fought about it once, one saying to the other "law msh 3ayza 7ad yo3od gambek erkaby taxi!!"

I find myself doing the same actually - minus the "hmmffff" - and I really have no idea why. But every time I find someone approaching my seat I think; "why do you have to pick my seat, why don't you go elsewhere?" and then a mental "hmmmfff".

People really like to be left alone. I don't know why, but maybe the pressure of constant human contact at home or at work and even in the streets make people really long for 20 minutes of WIDE personal space; where no one would breathe down your neck, mumble stuff next to you when you're trying to read, or ask you private questions for no reason whatsoever... I don't blame them, honestly, I sometimes need my 20 minutes of peace too -_-

When is BBM 'really' useful!

So, I hate technology. I hate the idea of BlackBerry and iPads and I hate over communication. I just think it gets people further apart instead of closer to each other. And I believe over communication leads to mis-communication. The site of some friends sitting together each with his nose stuck to his BB or iPad just depresses me. Technology is supposed to make our work better, our lives easier, not our human contact less and less…

However, here are the times when I really thank God for these devices;
1- When I’m in an outing in which I know only one or two person and the rest of the people are almost total strangers. I like to mingle yes, but at some point I find myself sitting alone silent and to save myself the lonely awkward feeling “mambooza”, e7em, I pretend to be busy with my mobile.
2- When I arrive earlier than everybody else in an outing and I’m sitting all alone in a restaurant of coffee house. Usually a book would, but sometimes it’s just weird to be reading at a “restaurant”, and sometimes I don’t have a book – hence, BB.
3- When I’m in a waiting area of some sort and there are no magazines, no music, the people are creepy and I don’t have something to write in.

I guess those are the only three situations in which it’s OK for me – and I believe for others as well - to use chatting or “entertainment” devices. (I don’t really see tablets as work devices, if you have work stay at home or go to your office).

In all other cases; if you do it, it’s simply detachment from the real world, you don’t like the people you’re sitting with, or plain rude.
Btw, I do that all the time! :D